Happy Thursday Everyone,
Would you look at that, the 50th Contour Line segment! I appreciate every one of you who has stuck with me this far, and all the new subscribers as well.
I hope you’ve had a good week, mines been busy in good ways. I didn’t send a Wednesday note out yesterday, as I was helping run a community event. But I do have some thoughts I want to share with you.
A reminder that I will be going live at 10am EST (tomorrow) on Friday, 9.26.2025, for the weekly Cultivar Coffee Chat. Join me to hang out and chat about the intersections between life and leadership, feel free to bring your own stories and questions.
The themes from last week into this one have surrounded trust, of both the self and our leaders. The exploration has given some insights that trust is not one sided, its not given strictly from one person to another.
It’s something that is nurtured between entities, earned and co-created. And while it’s important to trust our leaders, and for them to trust us, it’s just as important to trust ourselves.
In exploring this, I’ve looked back at my life and work experience, and you know what became clear to me?
Every act of self-sabotage has stemmed from not trusting myself. What were the consequences?
Reinforcement of that lack of trust.
I bring up consequences, because in preparing for some upcoming events I’ll be facilitating, I received some feedback pushing me to think of the “consequences” of not asking these questions, not holding these conversations.
Of not trusting oneself, or ones leaders. And how both positive and negative consequences of that lack are co-created between both parties.
I was reminded of the question asked of me in a masters program I was in, when I had an idea of what I wanted to research and write, I had to bring it to my thesis chair.
“So What, Who Cares?”
It was always obvious to me what the issue was, and I believed the explanation alone should suffice to be the reason why someone should care.
But no matter how clearly you lay out the why of something, that doesn’t mean someone will care, even if they should, even if it affects them.
You have to show them why they should, they need to feel it. Often that means centering the issue around them.
Trust is different though. Trust is a way of relating, and it only strengthens when you afford it the respect it is due.
With self-trust, I’m finding it worthwhile when answering the question “what are the ripple effects of not being yourself” to respond with exploring what the consequences might be.
Presenting as authentic, or simply feeling authentic isn’t enough. You need to trust in your authenticity just as others need to be able to trust in it.
Trust, authenticity, consequences: they are all co-creations between individuals and groups, regardless of the scale.
So, what are you going to reinforce?
Your ability to be trusted, or the demand that someone should trust you?
I’ll let you figure out the difference, and the consequences.
Until Tommorow,
- Chris
Contour Lines is my anecdotal newsletter segment that weaves whats going on in my life with my thoughts on leadership as well as personal and organizational development.
If something resonates, leave a comment, or reach out to chat - I always love hearing people’s stories.
Want to chat about personal growth or walking a path of authentic leadership but aren’t sure were to start? You are always welcome to book a free call to either get fresh perspective or see if we’d work well together in cultivating your capacity to lead.