Beans & Bullets, Cornbread & Compassion

Contour Lines 011

I’ll be busy the next few days, so the next issue of Contour Lines is out ahead of schedule!

The Food:

A simple meal from my region is pinto beans cooked with a ham hock for flavor, garnished with onions, and served with a side of cornbread. It's a hearty meal that’s easy to prepare and year round. It just takes time. As I stopped for a bowl at a local restaurant, I remembered an old saying from the military.

In the army, the senior enlisted sergeant for the company, known as the First Sergeant, is among other things, “responsible for beans and bullets.” What this actually means in layman's terms, is that they are responsible for making sure during all phases of maneuver, the soldiers are sustained enough to complete their mission. You wouldn’t think this responsibility, framed around combat would have anything to do with compassion or empathy. But if you are a good leader, you’ll know exactly where it comes in.

Whether on a people operations team, a member of the C-suite, or an infantry platoon, you face high-pressure environments where you need to rely on those you lead to perform. You have a responsibility to mentor, train, and care for them, it is on you to make sure they can achieve success because ultimately, we all fall to the level of our training.

Physical Training

Mental Training

Emotional Training.

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The memory:

As I entered the building after my lunch break, the polished narrow hallway that housed the 5 subgroups of our department served as an echo chamber for an all too familiar voice lining the tiled passageway. If that voice could be heard at the entrance. I knew something was wrong.

Someone on my team was in trouble.

I was in charge of the people operations and administrative support team assisting the executive leadership of our subgroup, directly responsible for 3 people, sometimes an extra 10 depending on if one of the other managers was away for training or work trips. We made sure that every administrative aspect of our 100+ subgroup was good to go. And we were one of the best in the department. Too bad our senior executive didn’t see it that way.

My boots squeaked as I sprinted down the waxed hallway, carefully measuring my breath so I could speak as needed when I got to my office. By the time I got to the side hall where it was located, the screaming was ear-splitting. Just inside the doorway of a 10x10’ room, the man in charge of us all was laying in to one of my guys with a seething fury.

Within 10 seconds of looking in my office and seeing my team, I knew what I had to do. The burning aroma of a constantly brewing pot of Cafe Bustelo filled my nose as I took in as much air as my lungs could handle.

“Hey! Sir, get the FUCK outta my office!”

The silence was immediate, and more deafening than the shouting before.

“EXCUSE ME!?!?”

This executive manager (I can’t bring myself to say leader in this instance) had a lot of responsibility on his shoulders. Much more than I did. And in fact, I really had no recourse that would allow me to speak to him in such a manner under our policies. But at the end of the day, he came across as numbers guy with a massive ego, and no one underneath him ever felt as though he cared for us in any way other than how we made him look to higher departments.

In efforts to get results faster than other subgroups, he routinely forced us to take up reports and paperwork that we knew would get kicked back. If I was in the office, I’d find ways to postpone the delivery until I could fix any errors. But my team had no such ability without me there.

With a kick-backed and annotated performance report white-knuckled in his hand, the manager had without thinking singled out the young man on my team who faced some of the most significant mental health challenges in our subgroup, and was unleashing vitriolic fire upon him.

”You heard me. Look at John. He’s fucking trembling. You remember why he was transferred to my team? You want another suicide? Get the fuck out of my office. Sir.”

My reminder of the shadow of his predecessor’s mistakes the year prior did nothing to relax his grip or furor, but he turned and walked into his office across the hall, slamming the door.

“Hey, kid, you okay?” Despite my calm and comforting tone, I was all business. I knew I had very little time.

“Umm…I….” John was so far down the fight or flight path he was in freeze mode, and the inability to form a sentence proved it. After having the other two give me a 30 second rundown of what error our executive manager had come in screaming about, I made a decision.

“You two, fuckin, take him home, stay with him. John, whenever I leave here today, I’m going to pick you up, your going to spend the night at my house.”

John got to his feet, dazed, and moved out the door, quickly followed by one of the other team members. The last one hesitated for just a minute. “Hey - are you sure man?”

“Yeah. He has no right to speak to you guys like that. I’m in charge of you, this is my fight now. Go.”

He made it into the main hallway just as the executive manager’s door opened and slammed, followed by the repeat action into my direct manager’s office across the hall. As the screaming began anew, I clicked the coffee pot off and poured myself a mug.

Completely emptying my lungs of air as I eased into my chair, I hovered my nose over the steaming cup wondering what was going to happen to me. Fear twinged in my heart, but as I rolled the hot ceramic between my palms, the uncertainty faded.

I wasn’t going to let anyone one my team get pushed to the point of a mental breakdown - or worse.

Less than 5 minutes later, the door slamming cycled again, and I was beckoned into my direct superior’s office.

His deep and gravely voiced boomed in an irritated but questioning manner as I stood before him. “So you told the boss to get the fuck outta your office huh? I know you, you ain’t gonna do some shit like that for no reason, but what hell is wrong with you? You know he can have you fired? And he wants to.”

“Yessir.” I straightened my shoulders, puffing my chest out. Whatever happened to me, was worth it. “You know John? And how he got transferred to my team because he couldn’t handle what the workload was like with his original team, and his leadership had mental health concerns?”

“Mhmm.” He was skeptical. I had to be careful how I worded things, but I also wanted to make sure the root cause of the situation was clear.

“Well, I’m sure you heard the screaming earlier. That was all directed at John. Over an error in the report that we tried to tell the boss wouldn’t pass department admin operations, yet he made John take it up anyway when I was out of the office. As expected, it got kicked back.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn’t need this today. I took the opportunity to push further.

“Look, we don’t need any more scrutiny on us after last years suicide. If we have another one happen, it’s not just going to reflect badly on our subgroup, but on the boss as well. So was I out of line? Technically.” I took a half second to inhale the stale carpet smell surrounding me and continued, “But I stand my by actions, and my words. I readily accept any action against me.”

At this, my leader drew his eyes up to meet mine. I couldn’t read what was behind his poker face, so I was left with trusting in his trust in me. Leaning back in his chair, he inquired as to if I had a plan and where the rest of my team was. I gave him the plan I had put in motion, which garnered me the most imperceptible of nods.

“Alright. Go back to your office. Wait until I call for you.”

As I settled back into my chair texting my team to see how things were going, doors opened and closed out in the hall without slamming. Getting word they were playing video games, I took my first sip of coffee.

I’ve only had a few moments where time slowed down for anything more than a minute or two, but the next 15 felt like hours.

Jolting up when my name was called, I rushed over to the executive manager’s office, where while he stayed seated, my boss was standing at the edge of the desk, almost as a mediator. While tight-lipped, the rage seemed to be gone from the manager’s voice. “Well. I can appreciate you looking out for both your team, and the company. But you know I’m well within my rights to fire you right now?’

I didn’t need to shift to stand tall. I already was. “Yessir.”

My bosses voice rolled between us. “So, there isn’t going to be any punitive action taken against you, given the circumstances and your reasoning. Just make sure the paperwork is done correctly from now on, no excuses.”

Confident yet respectful, I managed to keep my tone where it needed to be to keep my position. I knew that wording was a test. “Absolutely.”

At that the manager piped back up. “You got some fucking cajones, talking to me like. And don’t you ever do it again. Do you understand me?”

I would talk to him it a hundred times over if the situation called for it. “Yessir.”¹

The Lesson:

While especially true in demanding industries, all leaders need to have a degree of compassion informed by perspective. Without it, all it takes is one member of the team breaking down for everything to collapse.

You need to know your people, beyond how they present at work. What are their aspirations, their home life? What overwhelms them? It is your job to give them the resources and support they need to achieve the directive you are working towards as a team - which you are a part of. You will always get better results and cohesion through respect over fear.

1. *The names, roles, and business segments have been modified for privacy*