Hope yaโll donโt mind, I had a few extra thoughts that popped up I wanted to share with you:
Itโs a simple reframe: ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐บ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ ๐ผ๐ณ๐ณ๐ฒ๐ฟ.
How do you feel when you demand things from others?
From my experience, we typically prefer to ask or inquire, demanding only when we feel compelled to set boundaries or canโt communicate our expectations in a manner that achieves what we want on the timescale we want.
๐๐ฒ๐บ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ถ๐ ๐ป๐ผ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ฎ๐บ๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ ๐ต๐ผ๐น๐ฑ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ป๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ผ๐๐ป๐๐ฎ๐ฏ๐น๐ฒ.
Demand signifies entitlement.
๐๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ผ๐๐ป๐๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ถ๐น๐ถ๐๐ ๐๐ถ๐ด๐ป๐ถ๐ณ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ถ๐บ๐ฝ๐ผ๐ฟ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฐ๐ฒ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ป๐ฒโ๐ ๐ฟ๐ผ๐น๐ฒ ๐ถ๐ป ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐น๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป ๐๐ผ ๐ผ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐.
We demand things when we want to feel in control, or as though we are owed something without a legitimate claim to it.
We offer opportunities when we are in control, because we are owed nothing.
So, with this framing, if you wouldnโt demand someone step up and instead push them to take ownership of their obligation, not just to those around them, but also to themselves โฆ
Why would you demand more from yourself? ๐๐ผ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ ๐๐ผ ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ณ๐ฟ๐ผ๐บ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ ๐๐ผ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฝ๐ผ๐ถ๐ป๐ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐ฏ๐๐ฟ๐ป๐ผ๐๐ ๐ถ๐ป ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฝ๐๐ฟ๐๐๐ถ๐ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ปโ๐ ๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ป ๐๐๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐บ๐ฝ๐๐น๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป ๐ฐ๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ๐ ๐ณ๐ฟ๐ผ๐บ?
I challenge you instead to offer yourself more opportunities, to open yourself up to exploring new and creative ways of growth.
Offer yourself more flexibility in how to structure your life, how you hold yourself accountable, and where you try to exercise control.
Offer yourself more opportunities for accountability through self-inquiry, and thereby gain a deeper understanding of yourself in relation to the world around you.
You arenโt entitled to your own growth. But you owe it to yourself to grow.
Contour Lines is my anecdotal newsletter segment that weaves whats going on in my life with my thoughts on leadership as well as personal and organizational development.
If something resonates, subscribe, leave a comment, or reach out to chat - I always love hearing peopleโs stories.