Contour Lines | 001
Kizuna Sketches Project 001
Contour Lines is an evolution of an experiment in consistent and raw writing for ones self by the amazing Grace Nikae. When she started the experiment she asked if any other members of the Kizuna Studio wanted to join in.
Since I had just recently agreed to be a journal accountability partner for another friend and I knew I wanted to start a newsletter, I thought it would be good to join in. Nervous, I asked Grace if it would be alright if I just emailed her my “sketches” directly rather than posting them, and she kindly said “of course!”
Coming on the heels of a mindset shifting hike, joining the experiment gave me the confidence to go ahead and start the newsletter despite feeling unprepared. This first few Contour Lines with the sub-heading “Kizuna Sketches” are pre - Cultivar entries, copied and pasted from the original emails; they will follow the same general guidelines: philosophy reflection one day of the week, something food related another, and free-write the last entry for the week. I may post two additional entries per week, free-write as needed.
Contour Lines takes the following format:
A preamble or introduction of sorts to the article’s theme, in italics, followed by a dividing line.
The main body.
My take on the Sketches.
I'm excited to be a part of this project, for many reasons.
Writing was such a crucial process for me as a teenager.
It helped me expand my mind, and deal with, or perhaps ignore many things that shouldn't have been ignored.
Writing kept me going.
Yet when I struck out on my own, I stopped. Why?
Because I realized it worked. And I didn't believe I deserved to work, to overcome with my darkness.
I felt intrinsically broken. A young man, a boy really, who was ashamed of his existence.
For years I tried to journal. The recurring theme - "I feel stuck and need to do better."
The moment I dove beneath that surface, the journal was cast aside for another year or two.
And here I am.
This time, I will not cast aside the pen. I will keep my fingers to the keys.
I'm tired of running from my shadow. The funny part is - I just realized recently the shadow being cast was one formed by a light intended to blind me.
I'm changing the bulb, and pointing the light in the direction I want to go. My shadow will always be with me, but I take it in hand rather than see it as something to be ashamed of.
The sketches for me, are a judgement free place to write about whatever the hell I want. But I want to reconnect to the writings that brought me joy as a teenager. So, while I will write 3 times a week, I am going to only structure 2 of them, and the following categories will be explored each week in no particular order.
The first category will be philosophy related. It may be Eastern or Western philosophy, but I want to get back in the habit of thinking and analyzing philosophy through the written word. The fun part is I now have more than double the life experience to contextualize the same philosophical concepts I've explored before.
The second one will be food related, either discussion of food memories and experiences, or a recipe I've used that week.
The third will be whatever I feel like that day.
I'd love to engage with you in any aspect of my writing. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy watching me revitalize my mind.
Sketch 001
I don't believe in coincidences, and I have an interesting take on fate. But I certainly think manifestation and alignment are undeniable.
I couldn't tell you where I picked it up, but soon after deciding to manifest self-confidence as a 15 year old, I came across A Sourcebook in Chinese Philosophy, translated and compiled by Wing-Tsit Chan. I was enthralled, and couldn't put it down.
For my philosophy sketch of the week, I opened to a random page, and on the heels of Justin Castelli's wonderful masterclass, found myself revisiting Chuang Tzu's (399-295 B.C.) take on Taoism, and living in harmony with Nature. I've selected a few passages I'll type below, with my thoughts summarized underneath.
Nature is not only spontaneity but nature in the state of constant flux and incessant transformation. This is the universal process that binds all things into one, equalizing all things and all opinions.
The pure man makes this oneness his eternal abode, in which he becomes a "companion of Nature and does not attempt to interfere with it by imposing the way of man on it
His goal is absolute spiritual emancipation and peace, to be achieved through knowing the capacity and limitations of one's own nature, nourishing it, and adapting it to the universal process of transformation.
He abandons selfishness of all descriptions, be it fame, wealth,-> bias, or subjectivity. Having attained enlightenment through the light of Nature, he moves in the realm of great knowledge and "profound virtue.' Thus he is free.
As the Chuang Tzu itself says of him, "Alone he associates with Heaven and Earth and spirit, without abandoning or despising things of the world. He does not quarrel over right or wrong and mingles with conventional society.
Above, he roams with the Creator, and below he makes friends with those who transcend life and death and beginning and end. In regard to the essential, he is broad and comprehensive, profound and unrestrained.
In regard to the fundamental, he may be said to have harmonized all things and penetrated the highest level. However, in his response to change and his understanding of things, his principle is inexhaustible, traceless, dark and obscure, and unfathomable."
Thoughts
The perception of our existence itself is an ecosystem, wherein our nature is not fixed but rather occupies a liminal space at the intersections of self, time, society, and the world. Going deeper than emotions or vibes, the ability to move forward while existing in liminality is governed in part by our nervous system, and by extension the nervous system of society.
We should become comfortable in this liminality, internally and externally, for once you occupy a space you move out of it as soon as you notice it’s shadow. It is your choice to do so hand in hand or to be hunted by your own demons.
Comfortable with the liminality of the process or not, it becomes our nature. We can be trapped by the liminality, a purgatory of sorts, or we can ride the river and see where it takes us. Liminality is not the models or habits reinforced by patterns, labels, and value given to others, but rather our perception of them. If we cannot adapt, if we cannot nourish and grow, our authentic self dies of stagnation matching our environment.
Being assured in one's self grants wealth beyond clout. In attaining the embodiment of the process our lives are complete in every instant. Biases give way to curiosity, assumptions to knowledge. Freedom comes not from arriving at a state of freedom but through pursuing alignment in all things. That is Nature.
Do not judge. Be your authentic self, be humble with no assumptions, but do not deny the pleasures of life. Part of the process is to understand that you are not an arbiter of the process nor the process of others. Their Nature is their own.
See the liminality in all things, class, politics, race, gender, courage, success, and failure. The only constant is humanity, and if another human is perceived (by themselves or others) to be no more than how they are currently seen or presenting as the same must hold true for you. In denying the process of others to grow, in denying the omnipresent liminality of the world, you are denying your own humanity.
Thank you for taking the time to read and share this journey with me!
-Chris