Perspective is Power

Contour Lines 024: Cultivar Principles Series

Cultivar Principles Series

As I relaunch Cultivar Leadership Solutions, I thought it would be appropriate to explore some of its defining principles and core values, and where they stem from. These concepts are living and evolve in their level of clarity and depth, but the roots remain the same.

I'm starting the series off start with what in my mind is possibly the most important: Perspective is Power. Perspective is cultivated through challenging our assumptions, something that all of us must do if we wish to become more authentic leaders

I'll be holding a free, 90-minute workshop for subscribers based on the principle discussed in this newsletter on June 13th, at 10:00am EST, 7:00am PST. If you aren't subscribed yet, do so to get notifications and reminders for this and all future workshops.

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A very unflattering picture of me in 2022, standing next to the wreckage of my (previously) mint condition, ‘95 4-Runner. Still very much in pain, still needed a cane for a few months after this. But I could walk.

"What's the Most Important Lesson You've Ever Learned?"

If you've come across my work or heard me speak before, you likely have heard the terms “liminal growth,” “leadership altitude,” or “cultivated development” (wonder where CLS got the name🤔). All of these phrases are connected through what they provide to someone's perspective.

I used to say that perspective is everything, I had loosely held that view since my time doing research on how insurgencies survived and counterinsurgencies succeeded, running projects for the Conflict and Stabilization Operations Bureau of the DoS. The answer to what course of action to take always depends on where you look and how comprehensive of a picture you have.

“Perspective is everything” was the answer I gave around around six months ago when asked, "What's the most important lesson you've ever learned?" It was an icebreaker question in my Strategic Leadership class, taught by Eli Andrews at Penn State's Smeal College of Business, and it led to some of the most excellent conversations with Hanneh Bandi.

Since that initial conversation I've thought about what I gave as my answer - perspective is everything - over and over. It's something I try to keep in my head when I'm having a bad day, or need to reframe the way I'm looking at a situation, or if I'm trying to explain a concept to someone. For a while there, perspective was my everything, but it wasn't power, just a means of survival.

When Perspective Is Everything but Power.

Some of my readers will know that around 4 years ago I was in a near-fatal car wreck and the subsequent recovery story; if not, suffice to say my journey othrough rewiring the nerves in my hand and learning to walk again is in and of itself a powerful story of perspective, but it is a story of overcoming and survival, not sustaining or thriving. My perspective at the time was prevented from being developed further by assumptions I held about myself and the world around me. Perspective cannot be turned into empowerment absent context and continued cultivation.

During recovery, I assumed that after I regained my mobility back, the pain would stop, and I would be able to get back to the things I loved doing. I looked forward to the day I wouldn't just get by, but enjoy life to the fullest once again. Months went by, but the pain continued and evolved as I worked my way back into "normal" routines.

As I shared my story, talked to friends, family, students, coworkers, and people who worked under me - everyone always thought I had an incredible story, and was an inspiration to follow. I never quite knew what to do with that sentiment, and that feeling grew the harder I pushed forward. My version of overcoming my circumstances looked like getting back to who I had been before, and it felt that what others believed of me was a fallacy, I was an imposter.

I was still in pain. I was still weak in certain limbs. I had bad days just as often as good. I didn't talk to others about these things though, because I didn't want pity, and I wanted to ignore these realities. I wasn't giving myself permission to move forward.

Everyone likes to talk about the success stories of overcoming triumph, but we don't talk about the long term effects of the staying in the survival mindset that we assume will not be our normal once we have achieved what we set out to do.

No one wants to admit just how emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausting of a mindset it becomes to maintain, especially as it evolves into something that not just sustains you but, but inspires others to stay afloat themselves. I developed a sense of responsibility to continually display a cheerful outlook and determined demeanor even on days I wouldn't be able to roll out of bed, or lift a frying pan.

Very quickly, inside of a few years, I got tired of holding up what seemed to be a facade of inspiration. This is something I can imagine you might feel too, that pressure to be the version of yourself people admire, even when it no longer feels true.

The version of me that I wanted to pretend was still there and that I had tried to show the world, would never exist again. There might be a remnant of it, but I would have to be willing to accept the ways in which I had changed, and challenge my pre-conceived notions of how to lead not just others, but myself. So many of us carry the quiet weight of appearing resilient because that's what we believe leadership, love, or survival looks like.

We hold assumptions about what we must do and how we must go about it, external ideas internalized into our heads about who and what we are supposed to be, how we should present ourselves to the world. It's a human tendency to mask self-doubt as strength, and while there is no shame in the fact we naturally limit ourselves in this way, as humans we also have the power to challenge and discover what we are truly capable of.

Tired of the maintaining the mask, I started being up front and honest with my people, giving them my authentic self. I shared that I still struggled mentally and emotionally with what I had been through, and that after effects of the healing journey were sometimes harder than healing itself. This attitude spread beyond the car wreck, and I used examples from other parts of my life to give context.

Sharing my reality and lived experience actually had the opposite affect of what I anticipated. I initially didn't care if I uplifted people, I simply was tired of feeling like I was someone's inspirational hero without deserving that spot.

But in showing vulnerability, in being honest with the fact that even after overcoming an event I still struggled, I made my mindset of resilience and growth attainable for others; I uplifted people though empowering their own growth and perspective rather than pulling them up by demanding they be exactly like me.

For them, it became okay to be a leader, in charge, and not have all the answers; it was okay to realize that just because someone had success in life didn't mean they had everything perfect, always had, and always would. Sharing my perspective created a level of trust that allowed them to reciprocate, and that in turn allowed me to lead them better, to understand my team and organizational needs on a deeper level.

But while the reciprocal empowerment of others gave me a sense of pride and purpose back, I still felt a dissonance between who I was and who I wanted to be.

It was a much smaller gap than it had been before, enough to where I was able to believe just a few of the narratives I told others - that yes, I had been through some traumatic events, but I had continued to persevere, at an incremental but steady pace - and that the ability to move through fears and assumptions was the important thing.

Those little steps, bit by bit, enabled me to understand that who I was wasn't a fixed, stagnate ideal that I was trying to return to, but rather a person who challenged the internal and external status quo, who lived by the quote "find a way or make one".

When Perspective Becomes Power

Maybe you've been at point where you've looked in the mirror and realized that you are still measuring your life against a past version of yourself, whether it is work, social life, or your body. As you've read, I've been there several times.

Remembering who you were is powerful, but memory can both fuel and drain as, for me it often times seems as though acceptance comes with the price of grief. Grief of no longer being who you were, and unsure of who you are now. It's a disconnection of self framed by how we think the world sees us.

This sentiment, enabled by listening to to others and trusting in my relationship to them, finally came to a tipping point last summer, when I challenged one of the last mental blocks that I had imposed on myself.

"I will never be able to hike again"

Chronic pain helped to keep me from attempting to walk more than a mile on flat ground, but I had previously hiked trails miles long and thousands of feet in elevation gain. So, when asked to take pictures of my local area in Appalachia for a friend, I went to a short but favorite hiking spot I hadn't visited in years.

The intent was to just snap some pictures of the woods from the parking lot, and the base of the mountain looking up. But as I looked up the sloping trail, I realized I was getting tired of all these assumptions that I was holding internally. I had learned to challenge my social identity, but not my conception of self, and that if I didn't do it now, them I truly would stagnate. The words sprung out of my mouth and up the mountain, a vocalization from deep within, heard only by the trees, that rejected everything keeping me leashed.

"This is not who I am"

And so I climbed, one foot in front of the other. And yes, it was painful at times, but not once did the question of "can I make it to the top" enter my head, instead, I found myself continuously asking "how is my leg feeling, how much further can I go?"

I was using active self-reflection to guide and challenge myself, and through taking one step at a time, I reached the top; here's a video I took once there:

The answer to what course of action we must take always depends on where we look, with what perspective how comprehensive of a picture you have. You can't have a comprehensive picture or know where to look if you only stick to one conceptualization of doing things.

Perspective becomes power when you let go of, or at least challenge the assumptions you hold about yourself and others, when you bring everyone together to share insights and experience, when people find external common ground and internal strength to grow together.

Perspective is power when you authentically connect with your people and environment, when you drop the facade and have complete honesty with who you are becoming; and cultivating that understanding to unleash your potential.

You may not have been in a car wreck, or climbed a mountain you never expected, but I'll bet you have a trail of your own, a journey you've either started or aren't sure what the best route to take is. Your trail might be a conversation with someone, a decision that needs to be made, or a truth you are grappling with.

You don't have to don't have to do it alone, but you do need to challenge your assumptions about how to walk the trail, and what it takes to get started. We've all clung to behaviors and identities out of fear or habit, reached moments where we wondered if there was a different route.

And the only person that needs to give you that permission to let go and discover what you are capable of, is you.

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If you’d like to explore these principles further, subscribe to sign up for the free, 90-minute workshop on challenging assumptions to become a more authentic leader, Friday, June 13th, 2025, at 10am EST/7am PST. If you can’t attend, subscribers still get access to the recording of the event, as well as access to all future workshops.