Good Morning Everyone,
I have something a bit different to share with you on this last day of September. A bit more personal than usual, I always stay at home and reflect and practice gratitude on this day.
Today feels very similar to that day, chilled fog blowing across my face, damp and dew filling my nostrils.
Remembrance of that day seems a hallucination from another lifetime, one I can’t imagine living in again, nor do I think I’d want to, despite it being only four short years.
I don’t really know what the difference between opportunity and obstacle is, because I’ve seen the same situation in both lights. I’ve even gone back and forth as to which one that day truly was.
The day is nothing, it just is.
It’s my perception of the day that matters.
An autumn day like any other, out the door and off to work, down the path always took.
Along the mountain roads, on the curves and hills I’ve driven 1000 times before.
There’s a 4-way ahead on top a hill, I slow down since I can’t see over it.
As expected, there’s no one.
Keep driving, a few hundred meters more, just into the slight curve.
But whats this?
White truck coming fast, head on in my lane.
Berm to the right, other lane to the left.
1/2 a second and 40 feet to spare.
Thank the gods I used to drive gun trucks in the army.
Thank the sergeants for muscle memory.
No thought required, threat recognized, path adjusted.
It’s not enough.
Bumper to bumper. Steel to steel.
Dash crumpled. Axle snapped.
Frame folded. Glass shattered
Bones broken, nerves damaged.
Self-confidence, shattered.
Would I walk again?. Doctors don’t know.
Would I be able to use my hand again? Again, they don’t know.
I knew. At least at first.
It never crossed my mind that I wouldn’t get function back, until it did.
And it wasn’t the reality, or the likelihood, or objective facts.
It was the metallic tang in the back of my mouth,
the sinking stone in my stomach as months went by.
What flitted through my brain with mosquito wings?
Could live with myself?
Live with the pain?
Live with the loss of certainty?
Could I seize each day?
I didn’t know until I tried.
So you might call it a success story.
But the story isn’t over yet.
It’s just a story, one we all share.
Opportunity versus Obstacle.
4 years ago today, I was in a life-changing car wreck. At the time, it seemed the worst day of my life despite also feeling lucky to have survived.
What the event has proven to be, was the first in a series of opportunities that would be presented to me to grow as a person.
In my case, the event forced me to take a hard look at myself, and examine what I knew to be true, and what I assumed my path towards success would be.
There are many things I hadn’t confronted up until that point in my life that I had no choice but to work through, and I’m a much better person for it.
But it wasn’t, it isn’t, easy. If I didn’t recognize the value in the path, I would have looked at things as obstacles not worth overcoming.
It might be uncomfortable, but I encourage each and every one of you to be self-reflective of your own volition before you are forced into that space.
Exercising agency of your growth, while still uncomfortable, can be done in a much healthier manner.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
- Robert Frost
This event is what sparked my journey towards working in leadership development from an authenticity-based approach. Despite the challenges, it’s provided more meaning and purpose than I ever could have imagined.
But that’s only because of the assumptions I challenged within myself, the connections I formed with people who helped me nurture my growth as a person, and becoming comfortable with uncertainty.
I’m still exploring what authenticity and authentic leadership means, I firmly believe that we can’t answer that in isolation from anything else.
Authenticity, life experience, and culture: all of these things are co-created, communally reinforced, or eroded, and the more we try to define them absent their impact on the world around us, the more toxic conditions become.
Thank you for reading, and I’ll talk to you soon.
Until next time,
Chris
Contour Lines is my anecdotal newsletter segment that weaves whats going on in my life with my thoughts on leadership as well as personal and organizational development.
If something resonates, leave a comment, or reach out to chat - I always love hearing people’s stories.
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