Thursday Coffee Thoughts

Contour Lines 040.5

Sep 04, 2025

Hello Everyone,

Sitting here listening to music and drinking coffee while I work, I had a quick thought I wanted to share with you here, instead of just on LinkedIn.

A reminder that I will be going live at 10am EST (tomorrow) on Friday, 9.5.2025, for the weekly Cultivar Coffee Chat. Join me to hang out and chat about the intersections between life and leadership, bring your own stories and questions.

I was recently challenged by a mentor on the boundaries I've set for my time and energy. You might think that it's the typical story of putting work before family, but its actually the opposite ...

Actually, let me give you one more nuance: 𝗜'𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘀𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝘆 𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱𝘂𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗜 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲𝘀 𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗺𝗮.

When I embarked on a path of entrepreneurship, it was right on the heels of being consistently and increasingly less present for my family due to my focus on achieving results at work.

I'll spare you the details, but things could have turned out much differently than it has in the past few years.

I decided that I would rigidly hold to the working hours I wanted to keep, and the rest would be devoted to family and personal time.

• That worked great until we had a shift in childcare.

• It worked great until I went back to school.

• It worked great until my toddler started walking.

𝗕𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆, 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱𝘂𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘀𝗲𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗱.

Yet I still didn't want to flex.

Because ... if I changed things up ... I wouldn't be honoring my values of work-life integration, or being a present father and partner, right?

No. Complete opposite. 𝗜𝗻 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗶𝗱𝗹𝘆 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘇𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲, 𝗜 𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲𝘀: purpose, creativity, and empowerment of others.

I was burning the candle at both ends; I lacked the energy to think strategically and with clarity for Cultivar, and I also couldn't be fully present when I wasn't working.

And being conscious of this dichotomy, I kept myself in a constant state of anxiety about my presence in each arena, which only allowed me to "move the needle" ever so incrementally.

So what have I done the past several weeks?

𝗜 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝗺𝘆 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲𝘀 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘂𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘁. 𝗜 𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗹𝗲𝘅.

• An hour here.

• 15 minutes there.

And with 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 exponentiality, I've found I have more energy and presence for both arenas within their respective general timeslots.

I get more done in 6 hours with less energy investment than I did spending 18 hours over two days.

I started an hour late today so I could make breakfast for the family, but it's because I worked 45 minutes before bed last night, and allowed myself a full night's sleep.

I'll work a few hours this weekend to make up for some appointments I had to go to unexpectedly this week.

And I'm sure some will read this post and say, "Yeah, Chris, of course you have to be flexible and work after hours sometimes, 𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘶𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱."

That's not my message.

𝗪𝗵𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝟭𝟲-𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗼𝗿 𝟴, 𝗲𝘅𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲𝘀.

If you have work-life integration, clarity, and energy, I guarantee you can get 50 hours of work done in 30, no matter how you schedule it.

You won't be able to tell by how much you've accomplished, how much "progress you've made," or if those around you are applauding you for it.

𝗬𝗼𝘂'𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗺𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗴𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗲𝘃𝗼𝘁𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗮 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂.

Until Next Time,

Chris

Contour Lines is my anecdotal newsletter segment that weaves whats going on in my life with my thoughts on leadership as well as personal and organizational development.

If something resonates, subscribe, leave a comment, or reach out to chat - I always love hearing people’s stories.

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