Happy Monday Everyone,
Who would have thought that cleaning out a falling down shed would bring clarity to concepts of authentic leadership?
It’s funny how, as Miyamoto Mushashi wrote almost 350 years ago, “if you know the way broadly, you will see it in all things.”
Last week I ended the Coffee Chat newsletter with the line:
“We are only as toxic as we allow ourselves to be. Writing it off to anything external removes the one thing you have agency over.”
I thought about it some more over the weekend and figured it was worth bringing forward as a starting theme for this week.
The quote still holds true. But there is some nuance that can be added, as that framing implies:
an ability to be able to see a way out.
A toolkit or support system to do the work of removing toxicity
An ability to detach from systems and epistemologies that govern how we relate to the world.
So yes, we ultimately are responsible for how toxic we allow ourselves to be, whether to ourselves or those around us. But we can’t move through and dissipate the toxicity on our own. We have to at least understand how we are relating to the the world and people around us, if not directly engage with them.
The fact that so many of us try to do so keeps us stuck in cycles of self-doubt, imposter syndrome, and becoming despondent when the answers to “why” don’t change the circumstances we find ourselves in.
Mold doesn’t appear out of nowhere. It comes from a lack of maintenance, from neglect, from stagnation.
Even in the most well built house, there are the conditions for toxicity to form. Sometimes you won’t even know it’s there until you go looking for it after it’s become hard to breathe and you have headaches.
So if there is toxicity in your life, personal or professional, change the conditions as best you can. Talk with a friend, or a specialist, someone who sees things differently than you. Find a light you can grow towards.
Create a support system that addresses the specific toxicities you want to eliminate. Do what you can to prevent toxicity from worsening.
Use the space created by the change in conditions to detach from what held you there in the first place. Change the conditions so that the toxicity either doesn’t come back or isn’t as difficult to deal with if it does.
We have an obligation to our authentic selves: to know, think, and dream.
That obligation suggests that we question even in the good times, what assumptions we are making, what toxicities are we letting form?
Let’s heal and envision new ways of leading together.
Time for another cup of coffee.
Until next time,
- Chris
Sidenote: Here’s what I’m listening to to start off my week as I write this:
Contour Lines is my anecdotal newsletter segment that weaves whats going on in my life with my thoughts on leadership as well as personal and organizational development.
Want to interact with me live? I go live on Substack, Fridays at 10am EST, bring your thoughts and questions!
Want to chat about personal growth or walking a path of authentic leadership but aren’t sure were to start? You are always welcome to book a free call to either get fresh perspective or see if we’d work well together in cultivating your capacity to lead.