Wizard Behind the Curtain, Monster in the Closet.
Contour Lines | 017
“You have plenty of courage, I am sure," answered Oz. "All you need is confidence in yourself. There is no living thing that is not afraid when it faces danger. The true courage is in facing danger when you are afraid, and that kind of courage you have in plenty.”
― L. Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance, My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears, Looms but the Horror of the shade.
And yet the menace of the years, Finds and shall find me unafraid.
-William Earnest Henley, Invictus, 1875
I’m reminded this morning yet again of the long term effects of injuries and trauma, and how years after events have transpired there are wounds we cannot see that still affect performance, outlook, and our cognitive environment.
This morning, I’m struggling with pain, self doubt, and fallacies. Emotions are getting the best of me, stress is piling up, and mountains are growing out of the mole hills. It’s a good thing I started hiking again. I know I’ll get through this, but it doesn’t make the process any easier. I’m not afraid, simply tired. And therein lies why we question ourselves.
Rather than judge ourselves by what we are capable of, we judge ourselves by what we think we should be capable of, or once were. It’s the immaterial version of keeping up with the Jones’s, except you are competing against your own assumptions and illusions. In either case, you are the wizard behind the curtain, and it’s up to you to decide whether you want to pull it back or not.
That’s not an easy ask. Some people aren’t ready to face what has led to their assumptions and viewpoints about the world. Some people aren’t ready to look what broke them in the eyes and admit how much it hurt.
Despite the pain, for me, it’s not enough to pull back the curtain, and stare at Jung’s Shadowmaster (If you are a Tool fan like me, you are likely already thinking of the song Forty Six and Two).
I’m determined to take the place of the wizard, to remove any dissonance of self and capability. I want to align all aspects of myself to one thread; no illusions, just projection of self. A two-way mirror in which what I see and believe about myself is the same thing that others see as well.
If we do not integrate all aspects of ourselves, we run the risk of turning into a monster of some shape or form. A ghost of our former self. A skinwalker taking on a persona to gain some semblence of power. A werewolf without emotional intelligence unable control over when they shift.
Whether you believe in myths, monsters, and superstition in their outright form or appreciate them as cautionary tales, they exist for a reason: to inform you about yourself and how not to turn into something you don’t recognize.
While this is imperative for individual survival, if you are a leader in any shape or form - be that parent or boss, Colonel or CEO - you have an obligation to pull back the curtain and confront what haunts you, lest it begins to haunt those around you and in your charge.
The Compass Point put out on Monday discussed the myths organizations tell themselves about victory - but what of defeat? It’s quite easy to see how this manifests at a personal level, but how do organizational cultures handle the overhanging cloud of failure, and what can we learn from that as leaders in any strata, whether self-development or corporation? I might explore that this upcoming weekend.
Thank you for reading this segment of Contour Lines, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments, or in the chat if you are a subscriber!
As a leadership coach, I find that sharing personal struggles and the lessons learned go a long way towards developing soft skills and emotional intelligence.
Much like the depiction of elevation on a topographical map, these short segments I post up to three times per week signify the altitude I currently find myself at in life. They are more personal in nature, often looking at philosophy, food, and whatever else I want to talk about.
Read it once, said "Wow, just wow!" The way you word things, causes me to pause, and say, hmm, I want to read that again, deeper. If a person needs a guide, these thoughts can bring such reflection. Thank you.